Contented in ALL Things?

It has been a rough week for me in particular.  As I strive to find contentment through this uncertainty, God decided to put another element into the mix...my health.  It all started with my glucose test last Thursday.  What should have been a routine 1 hour of misery type appointment turned into more than my poor body could handle.  The test didn't get started until 9:15am, which is way too late for a pregnant mom to go without food!  Instead of being over by 10:15 and enjoying a late breakfast out, we were told to go to the hospital lab for another poke and blood draw.  Apparently, the first lab seems to think I have A- blood which means I need a shot (which 2 different blood draws apparently confirmed), but my blood type is A+...it has been through 2 babies.  After my third poke and a long wait, I finally was able to eat at 11am, but told to come back in 2 hours to find out my results to see if I really needed the shot.  I was not a happy momma!  By the time we picked up the girls and came home for lunch, I went straight to bed from sheer exhaustion.  Good news, my blood type is A+ and I didn't have to go back to the hospital 2 hours later, but the day was shot as was my ability to do anything but be a blob on the couch! 

Friday was rough because we were trying to cram 2 days of chores into 1 along with extra cranky children.  Saturday was a whirl wind because of our plans and Sunday I was too exhausted to remember much.  Caillyn had started to wake up 4-5 times a night crying which just added to the stress.  By Sunday night, she woke up about every hour all night.  Monday I had an unbelievable disagreement with my office chair that landed me on the floor and bruised on my right side from my elbow to my calf.  Monday evening we found Caillyn's tonsils were so swollen that she could barely swallow.  Dave rushed her to the clinic and thankfully she was started on an antibiotic...all covered under insurance before COBRA could screw things up. 

Tuesday came with Dave going back to his old job for a 2 day contract.  (Yeah for a little bit of money coming in!)  That seemed to be the end of the good news at least for a while.  The doctor called to say I flunked my glucose test and have to be a human pin cushion for a 3 hour one soon.  By this time, nothing could stop the tears from flowing.  Hormones, exhaustion, and the sheer thought of the already big bruise on my arm getting bigger and more painful was too much for me to take!  The girls crankiness won and I joined in the crying party.  Vacuuming, cleaning up messes, and staying sane seemed to be more than I could take.

By nap time, I started to have a moment to reflect on how I was "handling" everything that came our way.  I realized that I may be choosing contentment in our financial uncertainty, but when fatigue and health issues set in, I quit.  Why is it easier for me to have faith that could move a mountain when considering our earthly needs being met, but not when my body seems to misbehave?  I realized, I hadn't chosen to trust Him in taking care of me and the body He has given me.  If being a pin cushion is what He wants me to do to trust Him, then I should consider it a blessing.  A blessing, you ask?  Yes, a blessing because Jesus endured beatings and death for me in the hope that I would accept Him as my Savior.  Why should an ache or pain turn my mountain of faith into a pool of doubt?

During this time of rumination, as I sit here feeling yucky with a fever, I consider 2 different passages that help take my focus off of me and put it where it belongs...Jesus.  Proverbs 3:5-8,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."

This passage tells us that walking in righteousness will bring us health and nourishment.  Who am I to disagree with scripture by failing to practice my faith and therefore, not believing what it says?  Hebrews 12:2-3 says,

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

What excuse do I have to legitimize my struggles compared to the very struggles of Jesus?  What gives me the right to think my bruises are more important and painful than His torturous death?  So on that note, I will choose to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds," as James 1:2 tells us for what other choice do I have?  Live as God commands and be taken care of and filled with His overwhelming peace and joy.  Or I could live as the world does, wallowing in my misery never to find true happiness and fulfillment.  I hope you choose joy too and let God prove Himself worthy in your life as He is doing in mine.