Thoughts on this season

As I see shoppers out and about, I remember these words...it is more blessed to give than to receive. We have begun teaching our girls this principle to help them understand what Christmas is really all about...God giving mankind the ultimate gift...Jesus.

We've had such an awesome out-pouring of gifts and unexpected blessings, it almost feels counter-productive to what we're teaching the girls. I'm sure they've thought to themselves "how can you have more fun in giving than receiving all these meals, gift cards, mysterious cash in the mailbox, etc". We had hoped this year we would have the resources to give above and beyond our normal gifts and bless others in very special ways. However, we've learned you can't give what you don't have. Instead, for some reason, God has used this time of minimal resources to bless our socks off! We are so humbled by his blessings, most of which occur when ordinary people allow God to use them in extraordinary ways. Why would he be so mindful of us?

Now, in light of God's ultimate gift to us, I ask myself "Why is God so mindful of the deprived state of me?". Ephesians 2 gives me the answer. It reminds me that I am dead in my trespasses and sins; that I have previously lived according to this worldly age. BUT God, who is abundant in mercy and is filled with love for me, made me alive with Christ Jesus through his sacrifice on the cross. This is grace in its purest form...given as an infant child, walked and lived a sinless life, and became sin so that I might have the righteousness of God through faith in Him. WOW!!! So much to take in when you stop to think about it! Perfect divinity embraced humanity! Now that's a reason to celebrate this season.

Baby Teer is here!

Well after what seemed like a month of sickness and contractions (only about 10 days of sickness with 5 1/2 weeks of false labor), I went into labor this morning at 4am.  This baby decided to come in a mad rush.  Bryleigh was born at 5:33am after arriving at the hospital at 5:25am.  Yes, that is only 8 minutes after arriving at the valet area at the hospital!  On the way, we were about 5 minutes out and I told Dave he needed to get there now and it was a good thing!!  Dave sped up, turned on the car's flashers and cars in front of us actually moved out of our way!  We arrived at the front door only to find no one...literally.  Dave couldn't even find a wheelchair to get me inside.  He came back to the car and started to make me walk.  THANKFULLY, the valet showed up and got a much needed wheelchair.  When we rolled off the elevator, a nurse came out from behind her station and said "follow me" as if she already knew who we were.  We got to the L&D room and everything was already set up!  The doctor was already there too (which is a miracle since I had to wait on her to deliver Caillyn). 

I got settled into the L&D room and the rest is history...probably the fastest history ever!  There was no time to even insert my IV's.  This was nerve-wracking as I had tested positive for the Group B Strep earlier in the pregnancy and Bryleigh needed anitbiotics from my IV to better protect her frail immune system.  So now we are trusting God even more to protect her!  She's had a few more tests than normal but she appears to have no signs of an infection! 

Bryleigh has been a trooper through all the poking and prodding.  She's now with me in the room and we are enjoying getting to know her better! 

She's our biggest girl!  She came out a whopping 8 lbs, 8oz and 20 3/4 in long.  Her sisters are already fighting over turns to hold and love on her!  She is definitely loved greatly by all!  Here are a few pics of our precious blessing. 

Thank you, Lord, for such a smooth delivery of your perfect gift!  Please give us the strength and wisdom to be the parents she needs to help her develop into your faithful, committed servant.

Don't sweat the small stuff...

As much as I would LOVE to say that all the small stuff is easy to ignore, dismiss, or overlook, that would not be true.  Over the last few weeks, our family has been bombarded by the small stuff and all the details that come with each thing.  It's amazing how the little stuff can whittle away at your faith so quickly and effectively!  I find it so bizarre that I'm at perfect peace not knowing in what way God is going to provide financially for our family each month, but not knowing how to handle childcare when I go into labor or sick children who can't go to school and now need a sitter while we're at my doctor's appointment just sends me into a tailspin.

Of course, I know part of it is because of hormones raging with only 2 days until my due date.  Meliya coming down with strep last week and a sinus cold that she shared with me (the cold) only complicates matters.  I'm tired, my body hurts, and I can't seem to breath with my mouth closed because of snot...I know this all contributes to my mindset but should it? 

So today, with several little stresses behind us: Dad had 3 stints put in on Wednesday but is home and doing well, baby's room is finished, baby's stuff is clean, dog is clean with a fresh hair cut, house is clean, sickness is subsiding, details are starting to fall into place for everything else, Dave is at an interview, little projects are complete, the wash is going, etc...I'm going to choose to put a smile on my face and believe this baby girl is coming SOON!  My body is ready to evict her and I'm ready to hold her sweet self in my arms!  Of course, Meliya is over-the-moon excited to see her too and can hardly wait for her arrival! 

One thing I am learning...slowly...is that life is never planned, only theorized or estimated.  Plans are not for living, they are only a meek guideline of possibilities.  The more I step out in faith believing God will take care of this or that, the more I realize He does take care of it only it's usually not the way I anticipate.  For someone who likes to know how things are all going to fall into place, God is really leaving me in the dark on a lot.  It's not a matter of planning for contingencies like I once believed.  It's more a matter of letting go and giving God reign over everything out of my reach and most that is in my reach!  If only these lessons would sink into this stubborn brain a little easier!!

Well, here is a recap of the wonderful things that have been happening in the Teer house.  The baby's room is done!!  Here are a few pictures:

With craziness all around, our bills and provisions for them have been up in the air.  However, God has proven Himself faithful again...and again...and again!  We had received a hospital bill for a lab visit from 2 months ago that was not in line with what we expected.  After many communications back and forth between us, the insurance company, the hospital and my doctor, it looks like the mix up is cleared up leaving us without owing anything extra.  YIPPY!  We had also been preparing for the impending hospital bill with the delivery.  Knowing what money we had saved up prior to Dave's layoff was barely enough to cover the rough estimate of what we expected, we were trying to figure out how God was going to work it all out.  Well, He came through once again!  The hospital called yesterday with the estimated charges which seem to be in line with what we expected.  We also had an unexpected visitor on Wednesday bless us with a momentous cash gift to help us any way we needed.  Other blessings have come in the mail that were not only unexpected but very substantial.  God is good!  I've always been taught that everything is God's and that He chooses how to allocate everything according to His perfect will.  I guess I never fully understood how amazingly He can rearrange His finances to provide for His children, allowing money to ebb and flow according to His will without any regard to our earthly rules or expectations.  What an incredible privelege it has been to be a part of this beautiful picture unfolding!

Now for the funny pics!  Here I am with only 3 days to go until her due date.  Hopefully, she'll be making her grand debut sometime in the next 2 days before the Thanksgiving rush hits the hospital!

Thank you God...especially for the little things

Around here it is getting pretty hormonal.  With less than 3 weeks until the due date for baby #3, my emotions are not as controlled as I'd like them to be.  False labor started almost 2 weeks ago which makes things more complicated.  I've also had some of the worst swelling ever that has turned my slow walking into barely waddling.  It has been difficult to maintain a thankful heart with so much to do and being so much slower at everything than I want to be.  However, I am going to choose to give thanks with a grateful heart for the wonderful blessings God has given us even if they seem to be insignificant to the world.

I am choosing to be thankful that there are only a couple of small things on the calendar left before baby's impending birthday!  All the major stuff has either been completed or cancelled!  YEAH!  I have finished almost all of the sewing for the baby's room!  Praise Him for allowing it to happen with efficiency and precision!  I only have a pair of lovey's left to make which should only take an hour or so!!!  YIPPY!

(Here is a picture of the curtain I sewed and the finial tieback that Dave lovingly hung.)

Thank you God for giving me the ability to work on painting a mural in the baby's room!  Thank you for inspiring me with the ideas and guiding my hands so the process is peaceful, quick and an act of love for this sweet blessing!  I'm not done yet, but have come a long way in just a few short days!!!

(Here is the work in progress...and yes I am that big!)

Thank you, Father, for allowing Dave to be available to be my chauffeur and helper since the false labor has been stronger this time!  Thank you that he has gracefully picked up the slack I've had to leave because my body refuses to cooperate in even the silliest things...like washing dishes (I can no longer reach the faucett without a bit of an acrobatic move!).

I praise you, Father, for not allowing us to feel forgotten in this waiting period before Dave's next job assignment.  Thank you for sending him some opportunities to pursue, even if they are not the ones you will choose to use as a way of providing for our family.  Please continue to show us your will through this time of patiently trusting You!

Thank you for an exhausting weekend with our friends and families at the Lodge in Danbury this past weekend!  I may have stumbled away tired beyond belief with A LOT of contractions, but we had a wonderful time with everyone!  The girls had a delightful time and came home so tired that they've slept well 2 nights in a row!!!  Praise you, Father, for even the smallest of blessings!

In the bible study I'm working on right now, the subject matter has been about our authenticity in our prayer requests and heart attitudes.  James speaks very strongly about praying with the right motives as well as loving God more than the world.  After such a rough week last week and dealing with discomforts that have disrupted my routine life, I have had to put some thought into these areas.  Even though I don't believe I was radically selfish in my prayer life or loving the world in a sincere manner, I have to wonder if I've been distracted with selfish desires in these areas.

I've begun to think about the prayers I've offered lately.  Are they prayers that reflect a heart in tune with God's will, or are they laced with the selfish desire to have ease grace my path?  I can honestly say that ease has probably been more of a motive than not.  Lord, please help the girls obey so that I don't have to fight them into time out...etc...  It is very easy to get caught up in the aches and pains at this part of the pregnancy which ultimately makes me wish for ease and comfort.  However, what does this teach the girls?

As much as I would love to be able to say that I can keep it all together and parent these precious children with grace and gentility all the time, it would be a lie.  The truth is I can only try to do my best and beg God for grace, strength, and wisdom to do it in a way that this self-centered human physically, emotionally, and spiritually can't.  So as I think about my motives, I ask God's forgiveness for my focus being shifted to my temporary discomforts.  I also ask He give me the grace to be living proof to my watching girls of His love and salvation in this lost and dying world.  Thank you, Lord, for reminding me where my focus should be!!

Sleep Wars, colds, and doctor's report

It's amazing how I try to write updates but get so side-tracked by such a myriad of things...which is what this update is about.

Sleep Wars II had a brief truce but seems to be back in full force.  The girls were doing so well going to sleep shortly after getting in bed and sleeping until a decent hour the next day...UNTIL...the wonderful world of cold germs seems to have taken up residence in our house! 

Meliya came down with a mysterious fever Tuesday night and Wednesday so we decided to keep her home from school on Thursday and send Caillyn.  In the middle of the night Wednesday, Caillyn woke up coughing and snotty.  So much for having Mommy and Meliya time on Thursday, because it quickly became Caillyn's sick day.  For those of you who don't realize when even one of our girls is sick, it seems to give them both the liberty to act horribly.  Fighting, temper tantrums, refusal to sleep, "NO!", and everything else seems to come back in a vengeful flood.  So needless to say, our days this week have not been filled with loving family time.  Instead, it has been one discipline crack down after another.  Dave and I have to constantly remind ourselves that our hard headed children will one day realize that the time-out's they hate will only go away when the bad behavior goes away...Right?

Anyhow, through all of these wonderful parenting struggles I have to wonder what God is wanting us to learn since He is so clearly allowing challenges into our lives right now.  I don't know about you, but I would like to learn this lesson quickly so that we can move on to greener pastures...QUICKLY!  The only thing that comes to mind is that God is trying to drive home a few points very clearly: Love through every word and deed, as well as trust Him and fear not.  As our dear daughter #3 is getting close to her arrival date, I wonder if God is molding us to have the kind of patience necessary to handle 3 kids with only 2 hands a piece.  That is a very hard lesson to learn, but I am trying my best to embrace it quickly. 

The other lesson of not fearing seems to be something that keeps coming out of the shadows.  Whether it be a ridiculous fear that pops into my head and is easily dismissed or something more tangible, my focus should always remain on God's promises of provision and care.  Which leads me to wonder whether something really big and bad is on the horizon in which we would have to put these lessons into full practice....here we go...fear...  Funny how Satan can take one seed thought and keep prodding us until we let it take over our thoughts and minds.  So this is where I will take captive of that little seed of descent in my mind and turn it to something grander and more glorious: God is love.  If God is love, then no matter what He allows our way will be for the ultimate good and His glory.  Just as He has promised to never leave us, He has also promised to always leave us a way out of temptation. (Heb 13:5 & I Cor 10:13)  So in that mindset, I must stop allowing my human nature to interfere with God's Holy Spirit.  What a huge battle that is on a moment to moment basis!

I am running out of free time, so here is a quick update on the baby and Dave's job search.  On Wednesday, we took the girls to my 34 week ultrasound.  They both got to see their baby sister on the big TV screen which they were excited about.  All is good.  She is now head down and is right on schedule.  We will be seeing the doctor every week from here on out.  The finish line for this pregnancy is quickly approaching with only 5 weeks left starting today.

(Her head is at the top of the picture with her belly on the left.)

Dave's job search is still just that, a search.  God has not opened any doors for anything promising yet.  We are still waiting patiently as He is doing His work.  However, God has been very gracious to us while we wait.  Not only have some sweet couples from our biblestudy class given us meals, but God has been faithful to financially bless when we least expect it.  Just the other day, Dave opened the mail to find a substantial amount of money anonymously given to us by some sweet angels in my mother's Tuesday night bible study class.  To those sweet angels, thank you with a heartfelt, deep gratitude that cannot be fully expressed.  Your generousity will be rewarded to you greatly through God's gracious hand! 

Dave and I have pretty much resigned to the fact that we will be weathering this journey much longer than either of us intially wanted.  We both had hoped that a new job and new insurance would happen before the baby came, but realize that God just may be blessing us with time together before her arrival instead.  I am thankful for that time!  We are choosing to enjoy this privelege of time together, even if it is not in a traditionally accepted way.  Thank you, dear God, for taking care of our needs while you bless us with some wonderful family time!

On that note, I must go before the girls destroy the house in efforts to get my attention!  I hope you have a God blessed week and praise Him for all the little things, despite your circumstances!

Creativity Abounds!

This week has been an interesting week for us.  We came home from Dallas after a family visit with everyone having some form of a cold.  After a really long, arduous drive home Sunday thanks to the rain, construction and a 3 car pile up we made it home exhausted.  Monday and Tuesday were strictly recovery days for me.  I always underestimate how much my body can take at this point in the pregnancy!  However, God has shown His creativity this week despite my body's (and mind's) desire to quit.

Of course, our most mischievous member found my couch ridden self too much of an opportunity to ignore.  Caillyn decided to do some exploring in drawers which she knows are off limits.  Below you will find the product of her creative explosion!

It's too bad the camera didn't get the full impact.  These snowman stamps covered both of her arms much like a fully tattooed person's arms are covered!

God got creative in His plans for us too.  The job interview we were hopeful about did not end in a job offer.  However, God has managed to open a door for Dave's old company to employ him on a temporary part-time basis to help them get through some HR projects.  It doesn't solve our need for long-term, dependable employment or income, but does help in the interim.  God has even opened the door for Dave to have the ability to work for them from home this week.  That was a HUGE blessing to me since there were times when he had to take care of a problem because I just couldn't.

God has also blessed us so richly with wonderful friends and family that generously give us the support we need.  We were blessed with family members to help us watch after the girls last weekend.  Also, we received in the mail this week an anonymous note from a "friend" offering encouragement and prayers as well as a gift of cash.  What a wonderful surprise to have an angel in a friend!  To that sweet angel, we are humbly thankful and grateful for your sacrifice and generosity.  May God bless you a hundred fold!

Thankfully, the creativity did not end there.  Dave has been able to start working on the baby's room so that it is no longer a storage closet "in progress."  He has been able to begin repairs on some cracks that our shifting foundation caused.  He even covered up the mural I painted for Meliya with primer and aqua paint to get ready for the new baby's nursery.  No we did not shed a tear, but there were some wimpers as we watched the mountains, flowers, ducklings, pond and tree disappear.

Lately, Meliya has been very helpful in this transformation process too.  She learned how to pull out nails from pieces of base board with a hammer.  She even learned how to paint today.  What a wonderful big sister she is going to be!

 

Despite the learning curve of how to dip the paint brush into the paint with out making a mess, not stepping in the paint, and not leaning against the wet paint, she did an excellent job!

Also, I have been able to get to work on the baby bedding.  With only 6 weeks left until my due date, I have no time to lose!  I have managed to get the dust ruffle sewn together and have started putting together the bumper pads.  Hopefully, it will continue to go smoothly so that I can be finished with it quickly! 

Thank you to all who have been praying for us and supporting us in your own ways.  We are doing well; God has been very gracious to our family.  We are thankful for this wonderful time Dave has been able to spend at home with us.  God has provided all of our needs so far, as I know He will continue to do.  We continue to practice our patience as we wait on His master plan to unfold in the coming days and months. 

Baby Teer is close to having a name...we think.  She is doing well so far.  I have an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday.  The girls are excited about getting to see their sister on the TV at the doctors office!  I'm sure we'll have a wonderful time! 

Please continue your prayers.  We could not have traveled this road over the last 2 months without each and every one of them lifting us up over the potholes and stumbling stones!  

One day we will look back and laugh...

This week has been awfully trying for us at the Teer house.  It has not been anything monumental on the jobless front.  Instead it has all been wrapped around the Sleep Wars we keep having with our precious little girls!  I thought I would post a synopsis of the events of this week because I know many of you would appreciate the humor we are still not quite able to see...yet...

Although the Sleep Wars were seemingly over before school started, Sleep Wars II started with the new school schedule.  Each day pretty much goes the same way.  Many excuses and complaints later, the girls are in bed with an hour to spare before they MUST be asleep.  The next hour is spent correcting, disciplining, and reminding them that it's nite-nite time and not time to get out of their beds and/or play and talk.  About 4 days ago, they decided to move to def-con 5.

Not only did we do the normal to bed dance as mentioned above, but both girls decided to go into hyper drive when it came to resisting sleep.  Our "love you!"s and "nite-nite"s were met with uncontrollable screaming and crying fits as we closed the door.  Imagine it, our quiet evening together being serenaded by massive amounts of temper tantrums playing like music in the background.  Obviously, self-control was at an all time low for the girls.  That was just the beginning...

The girls have decided to play specific roles in this war.  Meliya has become the informant and general know-it-all.  Everything we say is punctuated by, "I know" or "no, it's not."  Not to mention the "Caillyn's out of bed," "Caillyn's in the toy box," and other commentary that is shouted at us through the door or through the monitor.  She always manages to look like an angel when we walk into the room, despite having more stuff in her bed than before we shut the door.

Caillyn has become our adventurous explorer.  With every shut of the door, comes a new opportunity to do something forbidden and exciting.  As if on a secret mission, she proudly goes where Mommy and Daddy don't want her to go (with a smile on her face).  One night, it was completely emptying her toy box all over the floor and her sister's bed in order for her to hide in the toy box.  Another time was just perfect to pull out all the wipes from the wipes container and pretend to change the diaper on her bears and dolls, clean things, etc...  (Wet wipes everywhere are not fun to clean up when you are very pregnant and can't bend over.) 

Another mission came during the wee morning hours when we foolishly thought the girls were asleep.  Apparently, all of the sleep wars have honed their ability to be stealthily quiet during these adventures.  Unbeknown to us, Caillyn decided to venture out of her room to other areas of the house.  This was only discovered when we found evidence in her room.  She had pulled toys out of the main room and taken them back to play with.  The real shocker was when we found some of my sewing supplies buried in her sheets.  She apparently had wandered into the baby's room, which is in progress, where my sewing machine is currently set up and rummaged through my supplies until she found something interesting...my tape measure and my bag of hand sewing stuff (seam ripper, needle and thread, etc.).  Mommy was not happy!!!

However, the real SURPRISE for us all came a few mornings ago when Dave went to kiss Caillyn on the head.  Instead of sweet sugars being left on her head, he got a smack of strawberry shampoo.  Yes, our sweet little angel had been very successful in her mission that morning.  She not only found toys to take back to her room from the main room, not only found some interesting sewing stuff to add to her collection in her bed, but also found the shampoo in the bathroom and preceded in trying to wash her hair.  Dave had the wonderful experience of trying to wash our toddler's hair out in the kitchen sink...which she did NOT appreciate.

We are now experiencing what tonight will bring.  Will it be as exhausting and as daunting as last night's battle: 2 and a half hours of constantly putting Caillyn back in bed and removing things from the room?  Will it be better with only a little bit of intervention leaving everyone sane and relatively unscathed?  Only time will tell...

For those of you who are parents in the trenches just like us, turn your eyes towards the heavens for from there is where your help comes.  I wish, like everyone else, that parenting and life were easy.  However, I also realize that through these everyday struggles life happens.  One day can be a nightmare in which we want to forget, but it just may become a cherished memory we hold onto one day in the DISTANT future.

From Serious to Silly

Many of our friends have asked how they can help or pray for us.  So tonight, here is an update on our happenings so that you can pray for us...from the serious to the silly.

Dave has an interview on Thursday at 10am for a very good opportunity with a good company.  We could use prayer that this would go exactly how God wants it to go.  If this is how God wants to provide for our family, then may it be smooth and successful.  If it is not, may the door close quickly so that we can focus on where God wants us to look next.

Meliya and Caillyn have started playschool (mother's day out/preschool).  They are having a hard time adjusting to the new schedule which leaves them exhausted and prone to many misbehaviors.  Anything from defiance, using ugly words, to outright mega meltdowns and explosions.  Please pray for them that they adjust to this new schedule quickly and easily and that they learn to embrace "rest" when the time comes so that they can enjoy the fun times even more.  Also, pray for Dave and I as we try to maintain our self-control to correct the situation instead of giving in to our desire to scream through it.

Baby Teer is doing well, but is still breech at 32 weeks.  Please pray that she will turn so that we don't have to face the likelihood of a c-section.  My doctor thinks it would be a shame for me to have to do a c-section since I have such successful and "easy" natural births.  I, for one, don't think the the natural births were "easy" as much as manageable; however, the thought of a c-section completely terrifies me.  (Yes, I have a HUGE aversion to blood and pain...thankfully God's grace gets me through that part of mothering!)  So please pray that this will just be another mild bump in the road.

Baby Teer is still nameless.  Dave and I are having an extraordinarily hard time trying to come up with a name we both agree on and that fits our criteria: uncommon and meaningful.  We jokingly call her Noname [no nah may] because we've only recently had 2 names to put on a list, much less be able to narrow the selection down to a short list of finalists!  This is the more silly request, but please pray that God will give us wisdom to know the name He has selected for this precious blessing He has given us.  With less than 9 weeks before d-day, the pressure is on.

Outside of that comes the request for general health and well being of me as I'm feeling huge and uncomfortable while still trying to be an active mom to our active girls; our general joyful outlook on life regardless of our circumstances; and our ability to point others to Christ through this whole process of waiting on His provision and timing.

Thank you for all of the support!  May your week be blessed with His favor to get you through whatever tough times you may face!

Choices

Over the last few years, I have begun to realize the volume and gravity of our choices.  I always knew we had millions of choices each day.  Many could be grouped into these catagories: insignificant or important.  I never fully grasped until recently how many other choices we have that significantly impact our lives in ways we don't realize.


For instance, we all know that choosing a career or who to marry will impact our lives forever.  Whereas, choosing what shirt to wear would be insignificant to our greater good.  However, I'm not talking about those types of choices.  I'm talking about the types of choices we don't even realize exist.  How many times have you thought you had a choice in how to react to a situation or how to feel?  I always assumed that those responses were just a natural part of life, like breathing.  You couldn't just respond a certain way, because that is not part of your personality or how you were raised, etc.  However, God has been moving in our midst in a way that has made me aware of just how much my responses are controlled by those choices I don't know are there.


Fear is a natural response when facing something uncertain.  Anger is a natural response when facing something frustrating or insulting.  Sorrow is a natural response to a loss.  I have to wonder, just because they may be natural responses, are they right...just...or even righteous?  Once again, when faced with life's questions, I look to the bible for whatever wisdom I can glean.  


I have begun to realize that even though these responses may be in our human nature, we are not destined or doomed to continue them.  I propose that you have a choice by which you can make to determine your response.  If you are gripped with fear, you choose faith instead.  If you are gripped with anger, choose forgiveness instead.  If you are gripped with sorrow, choose joy.  How you might ask...by meditating on God's word until it becomes an attitude in your life.  

For as long as I can remember, I thought my anger was a natural response that I could not control.  Since having children, I have realized that it is actually just a huge temper tantrum.  It is the inability to control my emotions for whatever reason.  If it is not acceptable for my children to shout, hit, kick, and scream when they don't get their way, then why would it be OK for me, the mom, to do it?  


As we have tried to teach our girls how to control themselves and act appropriately, we ourselves have had to do the same.  We are no longer allowing ourselves the selfish indulgence of emotional outbursts, but choosing to restrain ourselves in a dignified manner.  This is not an easy task...AT ALL!  However, we have found that meditating on scripture and allowing it to flow within our minds freely has changed how we think and respond.


Colossians 4:6, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."  When we face those times when our mouths want to convey "what we're really thinking," we take a breath and remember that our example is more important than a momentary "win."   The lasting impact of how we behave in front of our girls, is more important than any momentary release of emotion.  The value of watching our girls grow up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4) is much more rewarding.



As we have faced fear in this time of wandering when and how God will provide for our family during Dave's unemployment and our 3rd child's impending birth, we have had to stop and think on Phil. 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."  Fear and worry are not noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy things.  If God's word commands us to "think about such things," then we must choose to fill our thoughts on the things that meet these criteria.   When Dave and I find ourselves dwelling on fears or worries, we stop ourselves and replace those thoughts with praiseworthy things: God's promises, God's blessings, and/or God's provision.  What an amazing difference that can make with just a little practice!

James tells us in James 1:3-4, "because the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  Perseverance is like exercising the use of faith.  Just as our bodies cannot compete unless we exercise them in practice, neither can our faith be successful unless we practice perseverance.  Dave and I are far from perfect!  However, we can say that practicing perseverance by exercising our faith by our choice to believe in God's promises has made life much less stressful, much more enjoyable, and amazingly worth while. 


What kind of choice are you going to make today?

Contented in ALL Things?

It has been a rough week for me in particular.  As I strive to find contentment through this uncertainty, God decided to put another element into the mix...my health.  It all started with my glucose test last Thursday.  What should have been a routine 1 hour of misery type appointment turned into more than my poor body could handle.  The test didn't get started until 9:15am, which is way too late for a pregnant mom to go without food!  Instead of being over by 10:15 and enjoying a late breakfast out, we were told to go to the hospital lab for another poke and blood draw.  Apparently, the first lab seems to think I have A- blood which means I need a shot (which 2 different blood draws apparently confirmed), but my blood type is A+...it has been through 2 babies.  After my third poke and a long wait, I finally was able to eat at 11am, but told to come back in 2 hours to find out my results to see if I really needed the shot.  I was not a happy momma!  By the time we picked up the girls and came home for lunch, I went straight to bed from sheer exhaustion.  Good news, my blood type is A+ and I didn't have to go back to the hospital 2 hours later, but the day was shot as was my ability to do anything but be a blob on the couch! 

Friday was rough because we were trying to cram 2 days of chores into 1 along with extra cranky children.  Saturday was a whirl wind because of our plans and Sunday I was too exhausted to remember much.  Caillyn had started to wake up 4-5 times a night crying which just added to the stress.  By Sunday night, she woke up about every hour all night.  Monday I had an unbelievable disagreement with my office chair that landed me on the floor and bruised on my right side from my elbow to my calf.  Monday evening we found Caillyn's tonsils were so swollen that she could barely swallow.  Dave rushed her to the clinic and thankfully she was started on an antibiotic...all covered under insurance before COBRA could screw things up. 

Tuesday came with Dave going back to his old job for a 2 day contract.  (Yeah for a little bit of money coming in!)  That seemed to be the end of the good news at least for a while.  The doctor called to say I flunked my glucose test and have to be a human pin cushion for a 3 hour one soon.  By this time, nothing could stop the tears from flowing.  Hormones, exhaustion, and the sheer thought of the already big bruise on my arm getting bigger and more painful was too much for me to take!  The girls crankiness won and I joined in the crying party.  Vacuuming, cleaning up messes, and staying sane seemed to be more than I could take.

By nap time, I started to have a moment to reflect on how I was "handling" everything that came our way.  I realized that I may be choosing contentment in our financial uncertainty, but when fatigue and health issues set in, I quit.  Why is it easier for me to have faith that could move a mountain when considering our earthly needs being met, but not when my body seems to misbehave?  I realized, I hadn't chosen to trust Him in taking care of me and the body He has given me.  If being a pin cushion is what He wants me to do to trust Him, then I should consider it a blessing.  A blessing, you ask?  Yes, a blessing because Jesus endured beatings and death for me in the hope that I would accept Him as my Savior.  Why should an ache or pain turn my mountain of faith into a pool of doubt?

During this time of rumination, as I sit here feeling yucky with a fever, I consider 2 different passages that help take my focus off of me and put it where it belongs...Jesus.  Proverbs 3:5-8,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."

This passage tells us that walking in righteousness will bring us health and nourishment.  Who am I to disagree with scripture by failing to practice my faith and therefore, not believing what it says?  Hebrews 12:2-3 says,

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

What excuse do I have to legitimize my struggles compared to the very struggles of Jesus?  What gives me the right to think my bruises are more important and painful than His torturous death?  So on that note, I will choose to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds," as James 1:2 tells us for what other choice do I have?  Live as God commands and be taken care of and filled with His overwhelming peace and joy.  Or I could live as the world does, wallowing in my misery never to find true happiness and fulfillment.  I hope you choose joy too and let God prove Himself worthy in your life as He is doing in mine.

Who is my provider?

As a working husband and father, I often picture myself as the sole provider of our family. In fact, I've even described myself as such in recent conversations with colleagues/prospective employers. It is easy to slip into that way of thinking and in those moments forget that I am so deceived. Most people are not even phased by the deception, often times agreeing with me and offering casual condolences like "I understand" or "You're right. You've got to make sure you can provide for your family".

There's now a tugging in my heart and I must ask the question...do I provide for my family???

To most Christians, the obvious answer is "No". The church answers of "God is my provider" or "He is all I need" run rampant through my mind. But let's get real people...we are not perfect and we have a tendency to make a name for ourselves and think higher of ourselves than we should (consider the Babylonians and their infamous tower). Ashamedly, I admit I am such a person. I've lost count how many times I have answered "Yes" to this question. In so doing, I place myself on a pedestal that I have no right to be on. My view of God becomes so limited, forgetting that He literally spoke the world into motion and provided everything it needed by His word. Last time I checked, I am not able to do that.

I need to change my way of thinking. Or as Romans states, "...be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." I am so grateful for the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit who reminds me that He is the provider for my family. He gives us breath, He provides a job/income, He sustains us by meeting our needs (not our wants). The Gospel of Matthew tells us He feeds the birds of the air and clothes the flowers in the fields. How much more will He provide for us, the people He created to know Him and make Him known!!!

Exalting God above all else has provided peace to me and the family. Peace that is unfathomable and I cannot explain. I am also amazed that how quickly I fade into the shadows as I lift Him up and take my mind off myself and my measly abilities.

I have found comfort in Isaiah 26:3..."You will keep in perfect peace the mind that is dependent on You, for it is trusting in You".

Now the question is "Who is your provider?"

Each Day Brings a New Story

Two weeks ago, Dave called in the middle of the afternoon to tell me those dreaded words, "I've been laid off."  My immediate response (mostly because I'm too pregnant to help myself) was to cry uncontrollably.  After about 2 hours of seemingly endless tears, God brought to mind a simple song we used to sing in high school youth group..."God will make a way when there seems to be no way.  He works in ways we cannot see.  He will make a way for me.  He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side.  With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way.  He will make a way."

Amazing how such simple things can bring us great comfort.  I never fully embraced to deepest impact of that song until that day.  You see God will make a way for this baby to be born healthy and the medical bills be covered.  God will provide the food, shelter, clothes, and other needs that we have.  The next day, I looked up the passage Matthew 6:25-34.  Many of you know the one:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air, they do not sew or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?


And why do you worry about clothes?  See how the lilies of the field grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

This has been posted on our kitchen cabinet for us to memorize.  Every time I start to get concerned about something, I quote this passage.  It has brought incomparable comfort to know that Jesus told us that God, our Father, knows these needs and will provide for them. 

Amazing things have begun to happen since Dave's last day of work.  Major financial concerns of mine have begun to be addressed one by one by our very creative God.  Arrangements have been made so that the girls can continue with the mother's day out program they were enrolled in!  Major blessing!  They have been excited about returning to school since it ended in May.  Now they can go, learn and grow to an even higher potential without the stress of wondering when we will have to pull them out because the funds have disappeared.  

Another concern was our car.  We had worked so hard to try and pay off the debt we incurred by needing the bigger, used car earlier than expected, but were 6 months away from it being paid off.  Now, we no longer have the extra to put towards it or the minimum to keep paying.  However, God in His infinite generosity has outlined a way for it to be taken care of until He provides Dave and I with sustainable income again.  


Just Monday night, I was concerned about when the grocery money would dry up so that the weekly grocery store run would not fill up our fridge or our bellies.  I was talking with our 4 year old about being grateful for the food to eat even if it's not our favorite because there will come a time soon, when we may not have anything to eat at all.  Tuesday, we received a gift card to HEB from an anonymous angel who slipped it into our mailbox.  

Each of these concerns were not voiced outside of our home.  Some were not even voiced outside of my very own mind.  It is absolutely humbling and deeply moving to realize that God has begun to provide in ways we would not have dared to ask or dream.  I know He is not done.  God has a wonderful plan in store for us through this journey.  I just pray that we all can continue to "Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds..." (James 1:2).  

We appreciate your prayers on our behalf as we keep our eyes focused on Him above! 

The New Twist in Our Journey

This year has been another interesting year in our lives. No sooner did we start to discuss the possibility of wanting a third child did God provide! Once again, our world was rocked. We weren't prepared for the new car we now needed, nor the extra expenses from the new health benefits due to the pregnancy. Wow...could we actually be one of those families that has more kids than adults? I never say never for one simple reason. God ALWAYS sees fit to make my "never" come true.

Now looking at the approaching due date of our third daughter in November, we are faced with an even bigger challenge of faith. Unemployment. Dave was laid off effective August 14.

Being "CEO of La Casa" (stay-at-home mom) has it's perks, but financial security is not one of them. My dear husband, Dave, has bravely and kindly been our sole source of income for more than six years. God has carried us through desperate times before, but this time we have more at stake than ever before.

The eyes of our 4 year old and 2 year old are watching our every move. How are we going to portray this journey of faith to them? Are we going to say God will provide, but worry and fret, weep and moan the whole time? Or, are we going to be living examples of walking by faith and not by sight? We have chosen the latter to experience this journey. We have in the past done the whining and moaning response while uttering our beliefs of God's provision. This time, we want to be the people that you see and wonder..."Wow! How are they so calm?" We want God's beautiful and abundant peace to shine through this time of unknowns.

I will do my best to keep everyone updated on this journey by writing our thoughts, prayers, and God's provisions. Hopefully, you will find encouragement and ultimately His loving grace through it all!